did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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