may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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