Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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