it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
