Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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