It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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