I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
