I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
