Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
