I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
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