ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
