it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
