Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize