Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
