At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
