well I can't set my house on fire every night
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
