hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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