i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
