You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
