i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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