why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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