half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You need Xanax blowdarts
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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