Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
