Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
