Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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