Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
