erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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