I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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