I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
