she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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