Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
