I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
