On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize