My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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