I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize