You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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