Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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