So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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