I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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