We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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