she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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