how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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