Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
