No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
