You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I love you.
Bad choice
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
