yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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