I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
