so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
