Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
