She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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