yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
