Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
