oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
