and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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