I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Congratulations! We have a period
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