I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
