It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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