also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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