Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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