It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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