My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
