He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My bed smells like the plague
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