shes about as inviting as chlamydia
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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