I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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