I heard we made out
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
